New to Refiner’s Fire? I encourage you to read the FORWARD.
As we drove toward the hotel, my body raged. If I thought I had felt terror before it didn’t come close to what I was going through now. I couldn’t catch my breath.
In the past, I couldn’t figure out why my body had this strange burning feeling that ached and I thought was terror. Every medical doctor told me it was just in my head – so I must be doing it to myself.
During this ride, I knew this was real terror! I was terrified of the week ahead.
What if this facility was like the psychiatric hospitals I had seen on TV?
Having a “what if” imagination is great for writing children’s ministry curriculum but it’s not so great when just living life.
- What if there are guards in the hallway?
- What if I have a roommate that isn’t stable?
- What if they use electric shock treatment on me?
- What if they do something worse?
What would I be like at the end of this week? Better or worse?
Joe kept trying to encourage me. “You can do this, Wanda. It will be okay. Remember a lot of people are praying.”
Just three days before, I was preparing for the Children’s ministry to run smoothly while I was in the hospital. As I ran from one place to another, an elder stopped me in the hallway. “Wanda, all I care about is that you get well, nothing else matters.”
Such loving words just when I needed them.
I didn’t sleep much that night. It was easy to get up for arrival at the hospital early in the morning.
Upon arriving we were taken to “Intake,” where papers were signed and initial explanations for the week were discussed. Joe was told he would be allowed limited contact. The director said that families can disturb the therapy their loved ones are receiving. Then we were taken on a tour of the hospital, ending at the room where I would stay. It was cold and empty. Joe went to our car to collect my suitcase while I sat on the bed. Like so often on this walk of terror, my body became so weak I couldn’t move.
Joe returned with the suitcase and we talked a little – then he was told it was time for him to leave
I stood in the doorway, tears streaming down my cheeks and watched Joe walk down the hallway and out the door. Now I was completely alone. There was no safe person with whom to talk.
No human that is.
I was blessed that as a child I had begun talking to Jesus about everything. I can remember lying in bed telling Him about my day. He has always been my best friend, always with me, someone who knew everything about me so I didn’t need to hide even my thoughts from Him.
He has always been the only friend I could always count on – however, He is much more than just a friend.
Over the coming weeks, no matter how low I got or challenged I felt, I knew that Jesus was with me.
I encourage you to use the Coffee Chat as a tool for growing in your understanding of the importance of suffering in your walk with the Triune God. If you just want to read through the pages of the “book” go to “page” three click here Brain Problem!
Let’s grab a cup of coffee … imagine you and I are sitting together chatting.
Last week listening to John Piper’s Joy in Risk and Suffering ,what did you think of the opening in regard to Philippians 1 – gain in death? I will have a story to share with you in the weeks to come of when Jesus gave me a choice.
When do you feel the loneliest?
In the midst of that loneliness, where do you go? How do you calm the feeling of loneliness?
In the midst of that loneliness, do you feel the presence of the Triune God?
If you don’t already do the following, talk to your Father continually; be specific. Remember He knows when a hair falls from your head – He loves you that much.
If you haven’t finished listening to John Piper’s Joy in Risk and Suffering ,please do so this week.
Also listen to Come a song to meditate on this coming week.
Let’s chat via the comment section so others may join us. We can minister to one another as the Triune God guides us to bring glory to Him on this earth.
If you have something that can’t be shared openly email me at email@example.com
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